sobota, 16. januar 2021

THE GIFT OF LONELINESS

  In these extraordinary circumstances, where Covid has united the entire planet in its strange way, many are plagued by loneliness - the psychic epidemic of modern society. Articles of warning and advice on the subject are tumbling all over the internet: loneliness hurts, has thousands of faces, myriad causes, is contagious and deadly, causes anxiety, sadness and affects the body much like chronic stress…

But how can it be prevented? Humans are social creatures, and we need other people to function normally… In short, there is a whole bouquet of literature, therapies, instructions, as well as meditations, crystals and potions… to combat this inner sense of isolation, rejection, emptiness

But what if the loneliness comes as an intention? Can we accept it as a friend to help us to repair the most important relationship we experience in life - the relationship with ourselves?

Last year’s lock down and collective state that accompanied it removed literally all the people I thought were my friends from my life. The fear of an unknown illness proved stronger than our connection. After several weeks of feeling sorry for myself and wallowing in feelings of rejection, insignificance, worthlessness … I woke up one morning determined: Enough self-torture! Maybe I am not shaped in the image of a successful woman, but this is my life and I AM ENOUGH to have a good quality day!

I made the decision to be my own best friend first, and I will no longer tolerate self-criticism or want to change into a socially respectable person - but focus on acceptance and self-support ... Then help came immediately from friends (unknown to me personally) on Facebook.

At the right time, I read posts with encouraging messages:

Thank you to everyone who left me. In doing so, you have enabled me to stop searching around, to stop relying on others, and to find the strength within myself.”

If you have been waiting for an ‘enlightened soul’ - a friend who understands you, sees you, accepts you and supports you … know that you have been waiting for yourself.

I have spent the following days accepting painful feelings and learning about their origins. But I also notice the other side of the coin I have been given. Through all the moving, job changes, as well as constant spiritual development, I may not have really been able to form lasting relationships with the people around me, but I found another connection in the solitude I found beneath the layers of loneliness.

I first learned that there was another, diverse and wonderful world out there through books. I first found support, understanding, acceptance, adventures, solutions to problems … among their pages. While I wondered how well my nature could be understood by an author from another world, even another century, I realized what wonderful and timeless friends they can be.

One of the greatest storytellers and Jungian psychoanalysts, Clarisa Pinkola Estes, a great advocate of solitude, says:

"Solitude is not an absence of energy or action, as some believe, but is rather a boon of wild provisions transmitted to us from the soul. In ancient times, purposeful solitude was both palliative and preventative. It was used to heal fatigue and to prevent weariness. It was also used as an oracle, as a way of listening to the inner self to solicit advice and guidance otherwise impossible to hear in the din of daily life."

"Long ago the word alone was treated as two words, all one. To be all one meant to be wholly one, to be in oneness, either essentially or temporarily. That is precisely the goal of solitude, to be all one."

What kind of world have I discovered?

 

I compensated for the lack of close relationships with humans by connecting with animals and nature. My dog became my best friend, and my favorite pastime was exploring unknown corners of the world. It was only during the time I spent ‘alone’ that I noticed how sensitive and loving beings with their own purpose actually are animals.

The door to the world of exploration different energies, consciousness, cosmic mysteries, telepathy, astral travel, unconditional love, respect and appreciation, timeless communication and connection with all beings and everything … has opened up. A world of oneness that is truly magical and where you are never alone. But without the solitude disguised as loneliness that kept gently kicking me towards new teachings and realizations, I would never have realized it.

When I learned new things, cleared up painful patterns of childhood abandonment, when I became my own best friend and greatest supporter, only then did new friends come along.

One of the greatest gifts the universe sent me to illuminate the dark corners of the human soul was writing my first novel - Train to Heaven onEarth. As Clarisa says, creativity really lit up the underworld of repressed emotions ... Writing this book has changed my life, now I live by the sea, which is what I have always wanted, and I have fulfilled a few other dreams too. If you need some soul food, help finding your own light, or just meaningful reading pleasure, this is the right address.


 

 



petek, 15. januar 2021

TRAIN FOR HEAVEN ON EARTH

Dear reader! 

 I am inviting you to dive into the world of a young teacher, accompanied by a faithful canine friend. She is on the quest to find her purpose in a world full of false images, illusions and secrets - but also love, friendship, adventure, humor, spirituality, ‘coincidences’ and revelations …

The physical, emotional, mental, and above all spiritual journey begins with an overture on a beautiful Croatian Island, explores the lives of the people of Slovenia, and also includes some fuego rhythms from European Hawaii – Canary Islands.

The people the heroine meets and the unplanned adventures break the ideas of a modern woman and man, romance, school system, media, spirituality ... She realizes that nothing is as it seems.
If you want to board on this train be ready for a varied journey with nine stations:

STATION 1: THE SEA
STATION 2: SOCIAL NETWORK DATING
STATION 3: EROTICS
STATION 4: DYING BY INSTALMENTS
STATION 5: ASCENDING INTO THE SPHERE OF SPIRITS
STATION 6: MATURITY EXAM
STATION 7: NEW BEGINNINGS
STATION 8: THE HEAVEN ON EARTH
STATION 9: RETURN

The novel has a first-person narrator and contains several genres - social, women, romance, adventure, spiritual, and a lot of autobiographical and psychological stories mixed with my imagination ...
 

But I followed my grandmother's advice and made it simple - just like I listened an advice from one of my favorite authors:
"I hope you will go out and let stories, that is life, happen to you, and that you will work with these stories... water them with your blood and tears and your laughter till they bloom, till you yourself burst into bloom."
Clarissa Pinkola Estés

And who am I? The author? 

My homeland is Slovenia. In 2008 I finished studies of Slovenian language and Sociology of Culture in Ljubljana with a thesis on female literary characters in modern novels. Since then I teach Slovenian and write.

My first short stories were published in some erotic magazines and in Collection of erotic stories: Touches and promises (2011).
I continued with different literature.
Short story Try Again and once more and one more time: Mladika, literary contest in Trieste (Italy, 2012) – 1st prize.
Novella The Rainbow Year 2013/3013: The Annual Collection of Slovenian Fiction Stardust 2012.
Blogging for my websites Playground of Life (2013-2019), Dance of life&dreams (2020- ).
Train for heaven on Earth is my debut novel.

After many years this gift from the universe that changed my life is here for you too. Like a good soul stew, it took a long time to make – 27 years to grow and prepare, 7 years to cook, and 6 to cool and be just right.

First comments:

“So interesting, so juicy, so authentic that I could not stop reading it to the end. Even, the parts where the heroine is sad or disappointed are written with humor. Some funny paragraphs and pious wishes made me laugh out loud ...”
Ana, language professor

“I am thrilled! I do not know the last time I read a book that grabbed my attention so much. After reading it, I decided to say NO to everything that was stealing my energy and precious time!”
Slavica, Assistant Head of Shue Store Sales

Special thanks to Alexander N., my oldest student (he was 75) and truly inspiring person, who proofread this book for free: Thank you for everything! I know you are watching from heaven above …
His words: “You managed it, and made it beautifully!!! For me, as a man, it was quite interesting … Never forbid yourself to dream!”

The same goes for you, dear reader.

You can find different reading options on amazon

Writing this book was a dream come true and if you decide to join this ride I would be grateful for feedback on your reading experience. Have you felt this world? What did you learn? Realize? How did it make you feel?  



ponedeljek, 11. januar 2021

TO BELIEVE OR NOT TO BELIEVE IN ANGELS

 

I will start with the words of my rational mind, which struggled to get me through the university and now is screaming:

“OMG, SERIOUSLY?! Do you believe in invisible friends?! What is wrong with you?! Time to visit a psychologist… 😳 😊

But this is just one part of my brain, others point in a different direction. And as one of my pupils once said: If you don’t see or don’t want to see a rabbit in a plantation of tall clover, it doesn’t mean it’s not there. 

 I grew up in a Catholic family, and every night before bed, in addition to the obligatory fairy tale I listened, I always said also a simple prayer to the guardian angel: 

Angel sent by God to guide me,
be my light and walk beside me;
be my guardian and protect me;
on the paths of life direct me.
Amen.

Although I completely renounced my faith during my studies, there were still a few incidents when I thanked for the invisible help. In one of them, I narrowly avoided a serious car accident - as if someone grabbed the steering wheel and turned it in the right moment... 

After university (not believing in anything turned out to be a very empty experience), I replaced the religiosity of the Catholic church and academic atheism (accompanied by Karl Marx's celebrated dictum, "religion is the opium of the people" ) with spirituality.

Masses were replaced by meditations, activations … with angels and other invisible forces. However… Have you seen what happened to Doreen Virtue - one of the greatest names in this field? I certainly don't want to quote the Bible all the time and constantly beg for mercy… surrender my power to ‘higher forces’ ...

However, I can’t deny … in moments of loneliness I often feel something … During one such evening, I sought harmony in music, and I started thinking about angels: If they exist, why do I feel all alone? Why don't they stand by my side? Why can't I see them? Why don't they show up, just like any honest creature would?

Of course, I wasn't aware of the fact that in such a case I would run through the door like a crazy screaming maniac ... 😱 😀 Despite my interest about the invisible/unknown I'm scared about it – and drinking the whole bottle of aspen (Bach's drops) didn’t help.

The very moment I thought Why I don't see my guardian angel / guide, if he/she/it was supposed to be by my side, trance song started playing on the radio, which had a verbal input. I got goosebumps all over my body, shed some big tears, and my mood immediately improved. This was the text: 

Can't you see me?
I'm here for you, 
sitting in the dark, 
seeing your lonely heart.
You have the key,
believe in us.

‘Coincidence’ also stood by me when I woke up one morning with an important decision (life:death important). On the way to work, I crossed the road and three cars stopped allowing me to cross. The first had registration number 444, the second 777, the third 555. A few moments later I heard Annie Lennox singing from the bar which I passed: ''It's an orchestra of angels and they're playing with my heart ...'' The course of Slovenian I teached at that time started a few minutes later with a gift from my student named Fatmire (the name reminded me of faith, but it has a slightly different meaning in Albanian: fat - happiness, mir - good). She offered me chocolate hearts and told me she was celebrating her 44th birthday.

You probably already know about the meanings of angel numbers? There are so many explanations on the internet that you can pick what you need. I am more interested in the probability of such a 'coincidences'.

With all these synchronicity I am increasingly inclined to believe that angels (or something else on that level) really do exist. But I'm not entirely sure what and how... 

Has anyone watched the movie Interstellar? Or have you read The Guardian Angel’s Journal (Carolyn Jess-Cooke) in which the heroine returns to her earth life as her own guardian angel?

Maybe the comforting energy, I sometimes feel around me, is me - from the future? I know that in my visualizations I often travel back to the past, where I hug and comfort my younger, frightened self ... 

But a Venetian friend who was supposed to see invisible energies also saw a bright image in my aura, surprisingly similar to my late Ukrainian grandmother. Who/what did he see? Guardian Angel or maybe some other guide?

Angels also represent an important part in my book Train to Heaven on Earth. In this novel, I have mixed a lot of stories from my life with my imagination (which I believe is a conversation with your soul), so I can’t label it as an autobiography. But this part of the quest for purpose, happiness and love is real. So if you need a little soul food, you can find a more detailed description and reading possibilities on amazon.

What about you? What do you think? Feel? Know? What are your experiences with angels? 



All pictures of angels are from pixabay.