But how can it be prevented? Humans are social creatures, and we need other people to function normally… In short, there is a whole bouquet of literature, therapies, instructions, as well as meditations, crystals and potions… to combat this inner sense of isolation, rejection, emptiness…
But what if the loneliness comes as an intention? Can we accept it as a friend to help us to repair the most important relationship we experience in life - the relationship with ourselves?
Last year’s lock down and collective state that accompanied it removed literally all the people I thought were my friends from my life. The fear of an unknown illness proved stronger than our connection. After several weeks of feeling sorry for myself and wallowing in feelings of rejection, insignificance, worthlessness … I woke up one morning determined: Enough self-torture! Maybe I am not shaped in the image of a successful woman, but this is my life and I AM ENOUGH to have a good quality day!
I made the decision to be my own best friend first, and I will no longer tolerate self-criticism or want to change into a socially respectable person - but focus on acceptance and self-support ... Then help came immediately from friends (unknown to me personally) on Facebook.
At the right time, I read posts with encouraging messages:
“Thank you to everyone who left me. In doing so, you have enabled me to stop searching around, to stop relying on others, and to find the strength within myself.”
“If you have been waiting for an ‘enlightened soul’ - a friend who understands you, sees you, accepts you and supports you … know that you have been waiting for yourself.
I have spent the following days accepting painful feelings and learning about their origins. But I also notice the other side of the coin I have been given. Through all the moving, job changes, as well as constant spiritual development, I may not have really been able to form lasting relationships with the people around me, but I found another connection in the solitude I found beneath the layers of loneliness.
I first learned that there was another, diverse and wonderful world out there through books. I first found support, understanding, acceptance, adventures, solutions to problems … among their pages. While I wondered how well my nature could be understood by an author from another world, even another century, I realized what wonderful and timeless friends they can be.
One of the greatest storytellers and Jungian psychoanalysts, Clarisa Pinkola Estes, a great advocate of solitude, says:
"Solitude is not an absence of energy or action, as some believe, but is rather a boon of wild provisions transmitted to us from the soul. In ancient times, purposeful solitude was both palliative and preventative. It was used to heal fatigue and to prevent weariness. It was also used as an oracle, as a way of listening to the inner self to solicit advice and guidance otherwise impossible to hear in the din of daily life."
"Long ago the word alone was treated as two words, all one. To be all one meant to be wholly one, to be in oneness, either essentially or temporarily. That is precisely the goal of solitude, to be all one."
What kind of world have I discovered?
I compensated for the lack of close relationships with humans by connecting with animals and nature. My dog became my best friend, and my favorite pastime was exploring unknown corners of the world. It was only during the time I spent ‘alone’ that I noticed how sensitive and loving beings with their own purpose actually are animals.
The door to the world of exploration different energies, consciousness, cosmic mysteries, telepathy, astral travel, unconditional love, respect and appreciation, timeless communication and connection with all beings and everything … has opened up. A world of oneness that is truly magical and where you are never alone. But without the solitude disguised as loneliness that kept gently kicking me towards new teachings and realizations, I would never have realized it.
When I learned new things, cleared up painful patterns of childhood abandonment, when I became my own best friend and greatest supporter, only then did new friends come along.
One of the greatest gifts the universe sent me to illuminate the dark corners of the human soul was writing my first novel - Train to Heaven onEarth. As Clarisa says, creativity really lit up the underworld of repressed emotions ... Writing this book has changed my life, now I live by the sea, which is what I have always wanted, and I have fulfilled a few other dreams too. If you need some soul food, help finding your own light, or just meaningful reading pleasure, this is the right address.
